What’s a Sparkle Pony?

The following was an email received and answered: (The name of the inquisitor was changed)

Can you please tell me what a sparkle pony is? It sounds fabulous!
PersonX
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Well, hi there, PersonX!
You ask a very serious question. One that requires a history lesson and a warning for your safety. A Sparkle Pony is an evil, clueless race of heartless parasitic people who live off the sweat and hard work of others. They come from a far off land that they destroyed by neglect and carelessness while they focused on looking more beautiful. Without a home, they now invade all other lands trying to take as much air out of a room as possible.

12_sparklepony_withcopySparkle Ponies run around trying to look cute (but usually look desperate), trying to get attention from their costumes and their looks, while doing nothing to contribute to community or build a better world. In our history, we had a nasty infestation of Sparkle Ponies that we have successfully shunned and we must remain diligent to prevent them from trying to take over our little paradise in the desert – because they try every year.

But to be fair, I feel a little sorry for Sparkle Ponies. They’re just immature, clueless and have no idea how to enjoy the emotional benefits and personal growth that come from building community, serving others, acting in others’ best interests or nurturing their fellow human beings. But they do have a choice. A very important choice that can change their experience and their reputation… The changes in biochemistry that comes from truly bonding, wanting to get along with others, creating together and accomplishing great feats as a group, while glistening with sweat are what turns people into….Sparkle Stallions!

Now, you didn’t ask, but I feel it’s really important to explain what a Sparkle Stallion is. They are revered, beautiful creatures who know how to get shit done and look fierce while they are doing it. They work hard and play hard. They are professional partiers who create the party, make the party fun and clean up after it. Our camp is full of Sparkle Stallions! They are known for their hard work ethic, their ability to smile and have fun while glittering it done. They are a beacon of hope for humanity. So, if you can, choose to be like Sparkle Stallions. They are much more popular with sincere, kind, generous, heart-centered people anyway. And they have better sex lives, I hear 🙂

I hope this is helpful, PersonX! I know you’ll choose the positive path and stay away from those Sparkle Ponies.
Love,
Uncle Coop (aka Michael Coop Cooper part of Comfort & Joy)

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Burning Man Zodiac
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