Queer? WTF?

GeneshesDreamI joined the site a short time ago and am a pretty quiet guy. I live in a world where the “q” word means bad things, but I get it is like some other words that people have taken back and use in a darkroom.baltimoresun.comway that is not so negative. But this word, like the “n” word, it is still a bad word for many people.

My generation is caught in the middle. I see younger people treating these words like it is nothing, while older men  get really offended.

EXCEPT when it comes to burners. Words are offensive based on their context more than their face value and if someone is being a dick a burner will say “Don’t be harsh.” But there is still a stigma, because I cannot seem to get my friends to jump on board Queer Burners stuff because their first words are: “I’m not gay.”

There is nothing I have seen that mean you have to b gay to be a part of these events. It;’s just burners. Weirdly enough, I feel like the bay area has more hangups on the subject than people I met in L.A. or other burning man communities that I enjoyed.

If you don’t recognize me, I am the fly on the wall.who is in the fur coat, a smear of tribal makeup, and makes some polite conversation but usually shows up alone. The burners I meet are the best people. But in spite of all the illuminated thinking I see so many get hung up on some scary words.

3 thoughts on “Queer? WTF?

  1. So, the article pawned some interesting dialog… there is a cut/past from the East Bay Burners Facebook page where the article was posted (among other locations).

    Melissa Kirk I just assume that since I’m mainly hetero that it’s not a group (meetup, etc) for me.
    23 hours ago · Unlike · 1
    Scott Kay I like that feedback…. makes sense. Since sex is not involved and radical inclusion is a principle of our culture then the exclusion comes from outside the group… possibly by just the name? I guess I am stunned how resistant heterosexual burners are to getting involved while there is an assumption that queer burners should fold in effortlessly in the general burner community; I guess it goes both ways.
    23 hours ago · Like
    Melissa Kirk Well, I actually saw a whole internet argument with lgbt folks complaining that straight people went to gay bars. I think if the name identifies the group by sexual identity, people who don’t share that identity won’t participate. For me, it’s because I’m respectful of some marginalized groups wanting safe space. But if it was a group of black burners, etc, I also wouldn’t show up to meetings. Most burner groups have group names that identify the region or art project.
    23 hours ago · Unlike · 3
    Scott Kay Got it… but also keep in mind… honey… I’m inviting your pretty little self. (hands on hips) h aha ha ha ha… no, I understand. Your point is well made. I wanted to better understand why people invited are so resistant to participating. Hugs,
    23 hours ago · Like · 1
    K Michelle Sellers I’m gonna chime in my two cents if it adds up. LOL I feel that people are gonna join and gravitate towards certain groups that they feel comfortable with or can relate to. This year will be my first burn and I have debated as to what theme camp I should camp with. I have made a lot of connections in various theme camps that are mostly straight and also LGBT. It is my personal choice and have decided that since I identify as Bi, I want to camp with peeps who share the same vibe as me. However, I will still check out other theme camps while on the playa and network as I love socializing. But I feel if peeps in the real world have their preferences and biases that it would be the same at BM. As long as peeps are treated with respect and have an open-mindedness of other groups it’s all good. Peace out!
    23 hours ago · Like
    Scott Kay p.s. – one of my biggest challenges inside the lgbt community or inside San Francisco (period) is just getting people to get involved. If it is a bar people show up more than anything else. booze and other things … people show up… we are used to that within the community as a whole. I never had so many issues in any other community anywhere else as to get people engaged… but that is another issue. *sigh*
    23 hours ago · Like
    Stuart Sands ‘Cuz it’s not called Queer and Friends or something like that, so I assume it is “exclusive” so as to create a “safe” place for that particular affinity group. If any of that makes sense….
    18 hours ago · Like · 3
    Melissa Kirk Scott Kay, I would gladly attend an event so I can.continue with my stalking! Even though I’m only queer in the sense of odd.
    18 hours ago · Edited · Like
    Melissa Kirk Also, I hear you about it being a struggle to get people engaged. I feel that.a bit myself.
    18 hours ago · Like
    Dan Fox I am with Stuart Sands on this. Find titles like that are aimed at being specific, so yes, it would keep me from thinking I was invited. Just like if it was a group called “Mom Burners” or “Blue Eyed Burners”.
    16 hours ago · Like · 2
    Lisa Lisa No, the reason I’ve not attended is because that darned new Bay Bridge is soooooo slow, so I rarely go to SF now. Scott Kay, just curious, would you attend a meeting called Heterosexual East Bay Burners With Wooden Legs? I understand the concept of a welcoming space, but I personally feel that groups which define themselves by a particular trait (for lack of better term), for example,”People of Color”, “Caucasian”, “LGBT”, “Disciples of Christ” , tend to shut people out rather than welcome, even though that’s not the intent.
    9 hrs · Like · 3

  2. Wow. Wow. I am truly blown away. I live outside East Bay so maybe I am not to go anymore to their events because it is only for East Bay? No, but I get it. Just glad I got to let it off my chest. Namaste baby!

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