Playa Sexuality

Sexuality and Burning Man… people outside of BM have often described BM as a place where people to get all fucked up and run around naked. Essentially, that wraps Burning Man up in a nice neat cloth for them.

Stiffy LubeMy arrival to Burning Man for my 2009 virgin year came with a warning from OhTony: “If you go to the playa expecting to get laid you will not”… of which I took to heart as well as working on eliminating any other expectation as noted in one of my recent blogs.

Sex, in a way, is another form of self expression. Some people express themselves badly, some awkwardly, and some rather indulgently. There are plenty of camps that will let you play out your fantasies even if it is something you (or your straight buddy) might only do during these 8 days. According to a Ranger I know he is surprised whom he sees enjoying themselves at the Downlow Club in the shadows.

People come to Burning Man playing out their fantasies and upon returning to the default world assume their Clark Kent identities. It can’t be all spandex and light wire, huh?

Orgy camps are everywhere and even in our own little communities listed right on Gay Burners there are some playful huts to engage in those indulgences.

When you think of playa sexuality:

  • I am the same on playa as I am in the default world. (50%, 5 Votes)
  • I swing other ways while on playa and get my freak on in the default world. (20%, 2 Votes)
  • I am a hedonist, so what's the point? (20%, 2 Votes)
  • I explore the fruits the playa offers, but refrain in the default world. (10%, 1 Votes)
  • I am not there for indulgence. (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 10

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Sexuality is even taught! Camp Beaverton has a whole series of classes about varying sexuality and their own guru Dr. Reid ( and others teaching the delights of strap-ons and other techniques.

Comfort & Joy TentThe hedonistic part of Burning Man is an extension of people expressing themselves and with this liberation comes other unbridled behaviors that occasionally come dripping with pheromones. But, do not let that be your motivation for coming to the playa, because the magic of this desert will smack your dick right into the dirt. OhTony said it best and it is advice well taken. Go to Burning Man for the experience and leave the expectations with your dirt angels.

One camp I ventured to with a “straight” couple I met had a large white tent actually marked “orgy” and there was a beautiful young man standing outside who bid us welcome. He assessed our dynamic quickly – 2 dudes and a chick – assuming that we were seeking carnal pleasures, which was inaccurate. We were told we were all welcome irregardless of orientation to come play. It was 1pm and we were really looking for a steam bath we heard about.

The discovery of this orgy tent between 6:00 and 7:00 on A was a footnote placed in the back of our heads, but later my 2 ‘hetero’ camp-mates went back to find the same tent and said they could not find it. Was it a mirage?

Regarding our own camps, I heard a lot about “Jiffy Lube” [now called Stiffy Lube] and made that my first stop there late one night. It was a tent discreetly placed almost behind Comfort & Joy. Although I like a good play-time, the vibe and presence was dark and carnal in a way that was not my cup of tea. Yet, it looked like it could be a fun place for quick and discreet fun. Alas, I made the decision to go to Comfort & Joy for another flavor of entertainment.

Charming and energetic performers took the stage on one and of the large tent while they attracted an audience, the opposite site of this tent was lined with air-mattresses and on them people paying varying degrees of attention to the show. Between shows the action intensified. It was so comfortable in that camp and the entertainment varied enough where it was not all about sex, but almost a microcosm of the gay Burning Man experience unto itself.

It’s not all about indulgence, sex and drag performers…. no. Camp Stella is a dry and sober experience that I missed in 2009 but look forward to spending time at this year. Yes, I rolled my balls off last year, but I plan on coming a little more sober this year for my own reasons. Maybe Stella will be the people to share that with?

So, sex at Burning Man is plentiful and there is no reason to go looking for it because it will find you if it is meant to be. Breathe in the experience like playa dust and embrace anything that comes your way. There is more than sex out there, there is more than getting high, but even with all those things keep your mind and hearts open and participate in as much as you can.

Last Year My Virgin Year

So, @Craig inspired me to write a quick post. I am also managing to avoid doing some work I reallllllly need to be doing.

I drove to Burning Man with @ButchPirate (another member of this site) and it was a great trip. We arrived in Gerlach by mid day on Sunday, bound for the front gate. To our shock (2 newbs) we were unable to get in even though we were part of a planned Village. No problem, we planned for plan b, because I had a 5 gallon Home Depot jug filled with crappy orange drink and crappy vodka ready to share.

Before I go another step further, let me tell you I did a lot of reading and prep before my trip. I may have done too much, but one of the best resources was Tales of the Playa by OhTony which I have posted on this site below. There are 4 parts you must see.

Burner: Tales from the Playa – Part One from Tony Edwards on Vimeo.

Basically he said, go with no expectations. When @Craig (new member on GB) wrote “I made a decision before driving up that I would spend a week not judging anyone, about anything. Everyone I met was the same, be it man or woman” I thought to myself, yes. Yes, that takes it even a step further.

I did not expect sex. I eliminated expectations of partying and how people would embrace or deny me. I eliminated almost every expectation except one!!!! The one that bit me in the ass!

So, I digress. We arrived at the gate too early, so we drove back to Gerlach and spotted a lonely cowboy kicking back at a van and he told us his story. He voice was rough like broken glass and his style was cowboy rockstar who just finished his first joint. We parked close by and pulled out the 5 gallon Home Depot jug filled with crappy orange drink and crappy vodka. Gradually people started gathering more and more and we were dishing out every drop of rot gut we had. My co-host Butch Pirate was awesome.

5 minutes to midnight we jumped in and drove 9 miles to the front gate, arriving in line at 12:02 am Monday morning. I saw purple l.e.d.s arching through the sky. We made dirt angels when they discovered we were virgins. We were warned about narcs and being good citizens. We were thrilled….

On the way in, 100 meters to the left was a shuttle craft from the Starship Enterprise* ghosting us on the way in. Camp was easy to find. We were part of Sin City Village at 7:00 and Esplanade. 1:05 am we arrived and Butch went to set up her camp while I wandered into our dark village to see what was going on.

Part of our camp was Party Naked Tiki Bar. It was also dark, but a Las Vegas community member was sitting there clothed and in a cape talking to a tall, lean, and albeit sexy hippie boy who was called Faun. Faun was naked and drunk and the first person I saw upon arrival. I was drawn to Faun and their was an unmistakable reaction to my interest in this sexy hippie. Ten minutes later we were getting to know each other very well in the back of my car.

Thank you Burning Man.

I spent so much time on Bam Bam’s art car; a mobile strip club with neon carpets and padding with black light. I rolled my balls off at Opulent Temple and found wonderful things at Comfort and Joy. Every day was a social and visual thrill, both arousing and stimulating, at Center Camp with my daily coffee. Every night was a new adventure, dancing, staying with my community and meeting so many more people.

What was funny was running into people by chance I knew even in that whirlwind. Seeing my Utah homies at Basecamp, meeting DaBomb at center camp from L.A. Burners, running into other Vegas burners in the middle of the dirt by chance who I had no idea were there at all. There is magic out there.

My only expectation that went unfulfilled and left me a little wounded was… the dream of finding that someone special out there; an emotional connection of a different kind of magic. I thought I found it in the eyes of at least 3 guys here and there. Alas, no. But I would not change a single passing moment. It was perfect for my first time being out there.

*The shuttle craft turned out to be driven by people who are now friends and who had moved to Vegas in the last year. LadyMurv and Leslie (I don’t know his playa name) are now friends here in Vegas and I got a huge laugh when we realized that they were the first art car I saw upon my arrival.

Footnote: it turned out not to be a quick post… I encourage anyone who wants to to let me know they want to write something too like this!

New Members

I am so grateful and excited to see so many people joining this site. I know it will get more active as we get closer to BM, but go quiet as it passes. Seems to be the normal heart beat of Burner sites.

Thank you all so much. I hope we can keep this rolling… hugs. Peace. Love.

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